Flavor of Life
by Devilis Kyuu
Summary: [SONGFIC] When you say thank you to me, for some reason it hurts. Like a magic spell that doesn't get undone even after the goodbye... This takes place after Sasori’s death. And is more like a ‘flashback’ kinda fic. [ONESHOT]


Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR THE LYRICS…OR ANYTHING XD But I do own the idea for this songfic. I am planning to make an amv with this song though but it'll have to wait until I finished my exams. Oh, the song is by Utada Hikaru and is a Japanese song.

A/n: Kay…this is my very first attempt on a yaoi fic. O.o so please tell me what do you think…Erm, and oh, it has also been a VERY LONG time since I've written any fics or update my old fics. (I wasn't planning on updating my old fics anyway XD) I kinda rearrange the lyrics to fit into the fic.

WARNING! Slight OOC. T.T Please forgive me though cuz it's my first SasoDei fic…Oh…and I'm lousy with tenses. Constructive criticisms are welcomed.

Summary: This takes place after Sasori's death. And is more like a 'flashback' kinda fic. SasoDei. It's about Deidara's feelings about Sasori's death. SONGFIC. Slight ooc…cuz this is my first SasoDei fic, so please don't go too hard on me.

**_Bold Italics are lyrics_** while _Italics are thoughts. _

**-----------------------------------------FLAVOR OF LIFE-------------------------------------------- **

**_Stuck midpoint between friends and lovers, _**

**_Like an un-ripped fruit dreaming about the day of harvest _**

**_Because of being unable to just move one more step forward _**

**_What's causing this frustration baby? _**

Deidara stared at the body of his danna, or to be more precise - the puppet, which hosted his danna's living core. The redhead's lay with his face flat on the ground. The living core was already gone because Zetsu had already cremated it.

Deidara's visible eye twitched slightly as his fist clenched tight. "You liar." He yelled, "Didn't you say true art last forever? Then prove it!" A painful chuckle slipped his lips as Deidara felt his heart clenched tight.

He had said it! He had said the only thing that he would not admit to. To him, art lasted only in split seconds…then it would be gone. He did not know why, but somehow he wished that this art would somehow last…that his danna would not have died.

The blond couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt building deep inside of him. If he didn't act childishly and pursued the Kyubi Jinchuriki, leaving his danna behind, assuming that he would still be able to see his danna after all this.

_"See ya later, Danna! Un!"_

Deidara still remembered the last words he said to his danna before hoping onto his giant clay bird. The image of his danna glaring at him through Hiruko was still clear in Deidara's mind as he took off on his giant clay bird.

------------------------------------FLASHBACKS…

Well…everything had turned upside-down for the puppet master when the blond decided to confess that he had feelings for his danna. The whole incident happened a few years ago. Deidara and Sasori were camping out in the woods after a mission to steal some scroll from a Hidden Village.

"You know un." Deidara seemed slightly nervous, "I think I like you, danna…un." His visible blue eye was fixed onto the puppeteer who was still residing in Hiruko.

The said puppeteer was caught off guard and responded with a, "Cut it out brat, do you know what you are actually saying?"

"But danna, un. I am serious…" was all the blond said before lowering his head. _Shit! I shouldn't have said this…this is kinda embarrassing, un…_

"Look brat. I don't have times for your stupid jokes and neither am I in a mood for it right now." The said puppeteer spoke. "Besides," he gave a hoarse chuckle, "I am too old for you. Go find yourselves someone younger." And he was telling the truth; he was at least more than a decade older than the blond even though his real form didn't look that old.

It was really strange because the time the puppeteer spent with the blond was the times the puppeteer hid inside Hiruko. He had chosen Hiruko to hide in to avoid fangirls (just joking XD) and Sasori definitely did not understand how or why the blond could even adept feelings for him. Sasori had sworn that Deidara had not a single clue about his real appearance.

"I don't care un." Deidara nodded, "Age doesn't matter, un." The bonfire had casted a slight shade of yellow across the clay-sculptor's face. "Besides…I know you like me too. Don't you, danna un?"

A gigantic metal tail swung out and almost hit the blond if he did not avoid it. "How the heck did you come up with stupid assumptions like that?!"

Now the blond was really alarmed now, his danna would not hesitate to kill him. "I heard your conversation with Kisame the other night." Gulped the blond.

_What the?! He was eavesdropping?_ The puppet master couldn't hide his shock and he was really glad that he was still inside Hiruko.

"You told Kisame not to…err do anything funny un." Deidara shifted uncomfortably in his place. "And you even said, 'My Deidara'…un"

_Shit! That brat really did hear everything. _It was the redhead's turn to shift uncomfortably inside Hiruko. "Just forget it brat." He hoped that he did not sound nervous through Hiruko. "I just get a bit…" He paused to think of the suitable term to put in, "possessive…" he continued, "about my partner."

"Possessive un?" the ex-Iwa nin raised a brow, "As in…you care about me?"

"Hell no!" The puppet master replied quickly. _Crap! That is so not the term to put in._ He mentally cursed. "I mean, you are my partner and I don't want to anything to happen to you because I do not want to switch another partner after getting a new one." Sasori stated clearly. _Smooth…now that brat would believe it._ He thought to himself.

Deidara flashed his infamous Cheshire-cat grin. Since when did his danna become so nervous with petty questions like these? He was so sure if the ex-Suna nin did not even bother about the whole issue, he would just brush it off smoothly but this time…his danna seemed to be bothered and this pleased the clay-sculptor even more. It meant that his danna do care for him…and maybe even adapt feelings for him.

"Danna, you look like someone who's lying un."

The puppeteer glared at him through Hiruko. "Look brat, I don't know what has gotten into you today, but I conclude that you are just having a bad time controlling your raging hormones." He stated as-a-matter-of-factly. "It always happens to teens like you."

"Whatever you say danna, un." Deidara made his way to lay his back on the bark of a tree. "Good night danna, un." Then, his eyes snapped shut as he dozed off into sweet-dreams about his danna. The blond then made his own conclusion that his danna was indeed in love with him too. There was no point in denying the fact.

The puppet master rolled his eyes and was glad that the conversation had come to an end. He watched as the boy dozed off. The blond was so beautiful even when he sleeps. The puppeteer felt his heart clenched a little. He was indeed in love with the blond, but still…these unwanted feelings, Sasori did not want to get acquainted with them. Deidara was his partner, and the ex-Suna nin wanted the fact to stay the way it was. They were only business partners and nothing more…

-------------------------------------END OF FLASHBACKS…

**_When you say thank you to me, _**

**_For some reason it hurts, _**

**_Like a magic spell that doesn't _**

**_Get undone even after the good bye. _**

**_A hint of bitterness _**

**_The flavor of life _**

Deidara wanted to pick up his danna but realizing that the enemy had cut off both his arms, he could only kneel down beside the remnants of the redhead.

"Shouldn't we get going?" Tobi questioned.

The blond responded with giving the masked boy a glare, and then he continued to stare at his danna's lifeless body.

"Oi danna, quit the joke already! Un." Deidara yelled, "Wake up! Un." He bit his lips, "This is so not funny, danna! Un…"

"Give it up. He's already dead." Zetsu said.

Deidara glared at the plant guy and shouted, "Shut up! And leave me alone!" Then he lowered his head. "Just leave me alone…" He was dead serious as he had dropped the 'un' and his voice trembled a little as he spoke.

"Let's get going then, Tobi." Zetsu turned to leave with his subordinates.

"Does that mean I can replace Sasori-sempai in becoming the next Akatsuki member?"

The clay-sculptor heard what Tobi had said but he was too tired to lash out his anger at the boy. In no way, anyone could replace his danna! His one and only danna whom he had come to love overtime…

------------------------------------FLASHBACKS…

"Get the hell out of here, Deidara." Yelled the puppeteer through Hiruko as he controlled his puppets to fight off the surrounding enemy.

"No un. Danna…"

"I said, get out." Sasori's voice came out deadly, as he swung his gigantic tail at Deidara who of course dodged it in time, in an attempt to force the clay-sculptor to get out of this place. "Deliver the scroll back to the lair." He continued, "I hate to make people wait."

The blond winced as he hoped onto his giant clay-bird. "Just be careful then, un." With that, Deidara prayed for his danna's safety in his heart and took off on his artwork. _Don't die, danna un. _

Sasori did return that evening, with Hiruko seriously damaged. Deidara was more than glad to have his danna return in one-piece that he could not help himself but pounced onto the puppeteer and gave him a big hug.

The puppeteer did not expect this and was not in time to stop his blond partner. In the end, both of them fell to the ground and a crack could be heard. Sasori, knowing that the blond had broken off some parts of Hiruko with the clay-sculptor's weight crashing down on both of them, pushed the clay-sculptor away.

Imagine Deidara's surprise as Hiruko opened up and a redhead plopped out, cursing with every single breath. The ex-Iwa ninja's visible eye widened as he gaped at the redhead.

"Sasori no danna un?" The clay-sculptor blinked, "Is that you un?"

"Now this is just great!" Sasori hissed with a hint of sarcasm. "You broke Hiruko. Now I have to fix it! You useless brat!"

Sasori did not know why he was so angry with the blond even though the blond had done nothing wrong at all; because you see…Hiruko was already at the edge of breaking due to the intensive battle he had that afternoon.

"I'm sorry danna un…" The clay-sculptor apologized. "Erm, is there anything I can help you fix Hiruko un?"

"No thanks, brat." Replied the puppet master. "You have already caused me enough trouble." The ex-Suna nin then proceeded to get his tools. "I would be thankful if you would just leave me alone while I fix Hiruko."

"Gee…I said I was sorry…un." Deidara mumbled as he turned to leave the puppeteer to work alone. "Anyway danna un." He stopped in his tracks, "Are you injured for some reason, because un. If you do, I can ask the medics to sort of check on your wound un."

"As if I would get hurt." The redhead responded, his eyes not leaving the broken puppet he was fixing. _Now I'll just need to replace the wooden part with new wood…_The list went on and on.

Deidara sighed as he closed the door behind him. "Now where should I go?" He muttered to himself. _Well I can go to Kakuzu-san's room…with a certain payment of course un. That money-face freak surely wouldn't let me stay for free un._ The blond rolled his eyes, _Payment is fine with me but I hate to see that religious fanatic with his foul-mouth un. _

_Well…I can always go to Kisame-san's room but I don't like that Uchiha partner of his un. _The sculptor fumed at the thought of the Uchiha beating him a long time ago, and his fists clenched tight. _Curse you, Uchiha! Un._

Deidara let his hands rummaged his blond hair, "GAAH!" He gave a shout of frustration and sat down right outside the door. His visible blue eye narrowed as he heard the sounds of tinkling as his danna fixed the broken puppet. _I guess I'll just spend the night here…_Soon sleepiness overwhelmed the blond and he fell asleep at the doorstep.

Meanwhile, Sasori was almost done fixing his prized artwork. A smile of satisfaction spread across his face as he dyed the wooden part of his puppet with a layer of paint. _Now the only thing left to do is wait for it to dry._ He turned and his eyebrows furrowed instantly. _Deidara! Shit! Now where did that brat go? Oh yea, I asked him to leave me alone a while ago. _Looking at the clock hanging at the wall, Sasori realized that it was very late.

_Would that stupid brat spend the night in Kisame's room? Nah…that was impossible cuz he hates that Uchiha. _A sudden fear engulfed the puppeteer all of a sudden as he realized something. _Wait a minute, I thought leader had send that Uchiha to some solo-mission…which means…_ Alarmed, the redhead immediately rushed towards the door and jerked it open to find the blond sleeping at the doorstep.

The blond opened his visible eye as he got up in a sitting position. "Danna, un. You're done fixing Hiruko un?" He rubbed his blue eye and gave a yawn.

_Well, that's kind of relieving. _Thought the puppet master. He knew the blue-skin freak had interests in Deidara and that worried the puppeteer a lot of what might had happened if Deidara spent the night with Kisame alone. _That brat must have forgotten that the Uchiha has his solo mission today. _Sasori looked at his blond partner, "What do you think you are doing sleeping at the doorstep?" His voice came out monotone.

Deidara was the one to get angry now, "Well excuse me danna un! You were the one who told me to leave you alone!" He yelled, fixing his gaze at his danna's brown orbs. "I have no place to go." He stood up, "and ended up sleeping here all thanks to you un!" He gritted his teeth. "And now you are asking me why was I sleeping here un?!"

Deidara did it this time. He had never yelled at his danna before and this time his danna seemed to get his blood boiling. Deidara narrowed his visible eye at his danna and wished that he could punch him in the face, yet he held back the thought.

The redhead on the other hand seemed to find his blond partner pretty amusing. The way he got angry with the redhead and the way he yelled at him simply turned Sasori on. The blond seemed like a child getting angry when his mother punished him for no particular reason, and was throwing a fit.

_He looks so…childlike. So innocent…So beautiful…_Thought the puppeteer. He did not realize that one of his hands had shot out and caressed the blond-hair-beauty in front of him. The anger in the clay-sculptor's visible eye seemed to die out and gave way to a new emotion – surprise.

Then, Deidara's mind seemed to shut down as he felt wooden lips against his…

What was that for? Deidara could never seem to find the answer to his danna's strange act that night. They broke the kiss shortly after and Deidara couldn't hide his daze and his gaze not leaving the redhead's face.

-------------------------------------END OF FLASHBACKS…

**_Sweet talk and tasteless conversations _**

**_It sparks no interest in me _**

**_Even when things do not go the way you want _**

**_It doesn't mean you've thrown your life away _**

It was getting pretty late yet Deidara refused to leave this place. He sat on a rock next to his danna's remnants and began to talk as if his danna could still hear him.

"You know un, danna?" A bittersweet smile crossed his face, "I was so happy the other night…when you kissed me un." The blond felt his heart ache by the minute, "I was really so glad that you have actually return these feelings un…" He gave a chuckle, "I still remembered what you said next…"

------------------------------------FLASHBACKS…

"Stop staring at me like that brat!" yelled the redhead.

The blond seemed to snap out of his trance and a Cheshire cat grin appeared on his face. "Danna…you kissed me un." He was so happy, "Does that mean…"

Sasori froze. _Damn it! That was such a bad thing to do. Now I'm encouraging that brat! _The puppeteer frowned, "Don't get any ideas, brat. I did that just to shut you up, you dimwit! Now get in before you catch a cold out there!" He then stepped back to allow the grinning blond to enter the room.

"Aww danna un…" Deidara smiled, "You should be frank to your feelings at times, you know un?"

"Cut the crap." The redhead said without looking as he shut the door. "I can't feel anything from that damn kiss anyway. In case you haven't realize, I am a puppet!" He turned his head in 180degree which normal human could not do. "See that?"

Deidara did the only thing that crossed his mind. He hugged the puppeteer and laid his head on the redhead's shoulder. "You shouldn't hide it un. I know you still have feelings un…" The blond shut his eyes. _Even though it's little…but I still believe that you still have those feelings un. _

Sasori felt his heartbeat raged and was puzzled. He shouldn't be feeling this way for he was a puppet! These unwanted feelings…he really wanted to discard them all before it hurt him too deeply. Maybe that was the reason Sasori turned his own body into a puppet in the first place. To hide away from these unwanted feelings…but his attempt seemed to fail miserably when that blond entered his life.

-------------------------------------END OF FLASHBACKS…

**_When asked ' what's wrong?' _**

**_I answer 'it's nothing' _**

**_The smile that disappears after goodbye _**

_**It's unlike me** _

A single tear trickled down the clay-sculptor's right cheek as he watched the remnants of his danna, wishing that his danna would move somehow or at least say something to him. His Cheshire cat grin was long gone now as he sat there reminiscing the times he spent with his beloved danna.

"Tears are so not my thing un…" Deidara whispered softly. "Now thanks to you un…I couldn't stop them from flowing un." Saying this, the blond took off the eyepiece on the left side of his face. Tears streamed down almost instantly.

------------------------------------FLASHBACKS…

Deidara hated to go back to his village and had cursed the leader for having to send him and his partner on the mission to assassinate a daimyo who had visited the Hidden Village of Rocks. The leader could easily send another team to do this job, but no, the leader insisted on sending Deidara and Sasori because they were the nearest to the Hidden Village of Rocks compared to the other teams.

The assassination went well, though the Rock Village had sent in the ANBU shortly after they found out that the said daimyo had died. Deidara was wounded during the battle by one of his ex-teammates, who had now become a member of the ANBU squad from the Hidden Village of Rocks.

Infuriated, Deidara activated his C3 bomb and sent his ex-teammates and the ANBU to their graves. The blond did not know why he had used a C3 for the simple job but he certainly did attract the attention of the other ninjas in the village.

"Tch, you've drawn yourself too much attention, brat." Said Sasori who earned himself a death glare by the blond. Shortly after, both of them fled the village before another team was set out to get them.

-

"What's wrong brat?" The puppeteer, still inside Hiruko asked as he sat down beside the clay-sculptor.

They were both sitting by a stream after the mission. The clay-sculptor seemed odd after the mission and that made the puppeteer felt worried but the ex-Suna ninja just wouldn't admit it.

The clay-sculptor avoided the puppeteer's gaze and mumbled a, "It's nothing," as a clay butterfly flew out of his palm. He made a hand seal and the butterfly exploded. Deidara seemed content with his work, stared as the flames began to disappear.

"Tch. You ought to stop calling these explosives of yours 'art'." Sasori stated.

"Oh yea? Then tell me, what is your so-called true art then un?" The blond retorted, now staring hard at the puppet master.

The puppeteer read the ex-Iwa ninja's facial expression and found out that there was indeed something wrong with the blond. He did not say anything at that moment and only snorted.

The blond sighed, "If you're not gonna say anything, then let's get going." Saying this, Deidara stood up. "I'm not really in the mood to argue anyway." He mumbled, not knowing that his danna actually heard him.

"No, Deidara. We'll stay here until your wounds are completely healed." The ex-Suna ninja stated. The redhead furrowed his eyebrows, he was glad that Hiruko had hidden his facial expressions from the world. "I'll go get the woods for us to make a fire."

The blond glared at his danna for a moment. Then, his gaze turned into a mocking one as he spoke, "Why thank you Sasori no Danna for your concern." His voice hinted a sarcastic tone. "But I would be much glad if we leave this freaking place now!"

Turning away, the blond shut his eyes. _Oh please, let's just leave this place. We're almost near to the borderline of this damned country! _Deidara thought as he gritted his teeth as a sudden pain shot through his chest. He dropped onto his knees and coughed out small amounts of blood cursing with each breath he got.

"See what I mean, brat." Sasori then proceeded in slipping out of Hiruko and rushing to his partner's side. The redhead then helped his blond partner to lie down on the grassy grounds and proceeded in helping the blond to stop the bleeding. "Gods…you're losing so much blood."

"I'm fine, Sasori no danna un." The ex-Iwa ninja assured the puppeteer. "Now let's just leave…"

"Don't say a word now, Deidara." The redhead cut him off. "Rest now and I mean it." Venom was presented in the puppeteer's voice and the blond obeyed obediently.

"Fine then…" Deidara mumbled before closing his eyes and dozed off.

-------------------------------------END OF FLASHBACKS…

**_The more I wish to believe in you, _**

**_For some reason it hurts even more _**

**_'I like you a lot' instead of 'I love you' sounds more like you _**

_**The flavor of life** _

"I used to be a stubborn brat, back then, wasn't I un?" The blond got down from the rock he was sitting on a while ago. He walked towards the lifeless body of his danna and laid his head on top of the remnants of his beloved danna. With his eyes closed, "Why do you leave me here alone…un? Didn't you promise me that you would be with me forever un?" He continued, "Didn't you say that your art lasts forever un?"

------------------------------------FLASHBACKS…

"We're leaving tomorrow to get my Bijuu un." Deidara said to his partner who was only half-listening.

Sasori was in an unpleasant mood on that particular day. He polished all the hidden weapons that were kept within Hiruko. He sharpened every single kunai and not forgetting to coat each kunai with poison.

_This is just great! Of all the Bijuu, he would have to choose the Ichibi…_ The redhead thought as he took a glance at his partner. The redhead hated the thought of having to go back to his former village – the Hidden Village of Sand.

"Ne Danna un." The blond turned to face his danna. "Why does it bother you so much to go back to your village un?"

Brown orbs locked onto blue ones. "Same goes to you. Why does it bother you to go back to your village?" Sasori questioned.

Deidara bit his lips and lowered his head. "They…they don't appreciate my art un." His fists clenched tight all of a sudden. "I guess that's the reason for me un. What about you, danna un?"

"You are an odd one, Deidara." The puppeteer smirked inwardly. "And as for the question, I have no intentions in telling you anything."

"Hey!" Deidara gritted his teeth, "This is so unfair un!" The blond yelled, "I told you everything but you refuse to tell me anything un!" He playfully tackled his danna who was not aware.

Both of them came crashing to the floor. "Argh! Deidara! How many times do I have to tell you…" The puppeteer's words were cut short when the blond kissed him on the lips.

They finally pulled away and Deidara was grinning. "You know what danna un? I think you need to be punished."

The redhead's eyes widened in horror as the blond pinned both his hands to the ground. "No Dei-…" His words were once again cut short as the blond covered his wooden mouth with his.

Both their minds seemed to shut down as they indulged themselves in…pleasure…

"I love you danna un…"

Sasori heard his partner whispered to him but he did not reply. The morning light had entered the room, yet Sasori kept his eyes closed, enjoying the moments his blond partner toyed with his red locks.

The puppeteer could merely feel the touches though, because he was a puppet. It was the only regret for the puppeteer…the only regret for turning himself into a puppet…

-------------------------------------END OF FLASHBACKS…

**_The period when you suddenly remember the scent of someone you had almost forgotten _**

_**I want to be able to openly and honestly cherish the white purity of the falling snow more** _

Standing up, the blond gave his danna a final glance. "Goodbye danna un…" His heart ached even more when he said that. Then turning, Deidara left the place.

_This is goodbye un…Maybe I'll be able to see you someday un…when I go out with a blast… _

It had been months ever since Sasori's death. Deidara kept his Cheshire cat smile plastered on his face and had locked away everything regarding to his danna deep within his heart.

Tobi became the clay-sculptor's new partner and he annoyed Deidara to no end. Deidara sometimes can't help but think of his danna, oh how he wished that the redhead were still here instead of that orange-masked freak.

Deidara and Tobi were sent to fight either Uchiha Sasuke or the Kyuubi jinchuuriki. It seemed that fate had it for Deidara, and he ended up fighting the Uchiha. The blond hated the Uchihas with a fiery passion.

"Those eyes! Those eyes that disdain my art! I refused to be looked at by them anymore!" The blond then pulled open the mouth on his chest and fed it with clay. "Hahaha." His eyes shone insanity. "Behold my masterpiece!"

"SELF-DESTRUCTION!" The blond continued, "Death will transform me into a work of art! An explosion unlike any of the others!" His blue orbs locked onto the said Uchiha. "…One that will leave scars in the earth like nothing else." His mouth widened into a sinister smile. " A CREATION WORTHY OF PRAISE UNLIKE ANYTHING BEFORE!" Turning towards Tobi, the blond briefly apologized to the orange-masked boy.

"AND YOU WILL DIE!" He directed his words at the Uchiha.

Three_…I'm coming, Sasori no danna un…_

"Now drown yourself in the awe and despair!" Deidara could see the fear in Sasuke's eyes as he felt his own consciousness began to fade away. "Cry like a lost child…"

Two_…You'll wait for me, wouldn't you? Sasori no danna un?_

"Because my art…" Deidara found his whole body began to expand as chakra began to build rapidly inside his body. "IS A BLAST!"

One_…I did it Sasori no danna un…_

**_A future tender and warmer than a diamond _**

**_I want to grasp it, in this limited time we have, I want to spend it with you _**

**_When you say thank you to me, _**

**_For some reason it hurts, _**

**_Like a magic spell that doesn't _**

**_Get undone even after the good bye. _**

**_A hint of bitterness _**

_**The flavor of life** _

"You fool, Deidara, why did you do this?" A very familiar voice reached the clay-sculptor's ears as he opened his eyes slowly to greet a certain redhead, staring at him.

"Finally…I can be with you now danna, un…" The clay-sculptor's hand soon found it's way to the redhead's face and he caressed it.

It was bliss for the blond as he could finally meet his danna again in another realm. He was so happy that they were finally united.

"What did I tell you danna un? That my art is a blast…" Saying this, the blond pulled his lover into an embrace.

FIN

A/n: …Okay, I think the fic is kinda boring…erm, just R&R to tell me what do you guys think. Kay? Thank you. O.o I hope I didn't make too much mistakes in grammar and all that…PS: I didn't even reread the whole thing XD


End file.
